I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
