So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
