thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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