i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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