ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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