I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
