Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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