Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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