two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize