i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
are you so shy because you have an std?
time to smoke my breakfast
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize