Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
