Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
