me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
