well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Houston, we have a squirter
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
