Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
