She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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