I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
