Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
