Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
