I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
my shit smells like andre
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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