I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
