Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
