How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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