there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
