we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
this hospital has no fireball
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize
