Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
