my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
