I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
