It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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