Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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