Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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