her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize