I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
