I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
My life is pants optional.
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