Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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