Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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