He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
