your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize