and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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