Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He better not be in your backpack
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Dicks are not precious.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
