we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
