capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
