you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize