I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
