No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
