party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
