You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Where did you get a picture of my penis
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
