I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
