I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize