I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
