Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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