but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
