So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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