is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize