this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
