i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
