I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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