I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
