my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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