All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
