ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
