she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
