OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize
