I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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