Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
