Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You need Xanax blowdarts
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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