Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
