i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
